Woke up today, looking through my email
It's all triple X, ******** *** but I'm not *****
Can't make it stop, the different colored soda pops
Striped toe socks, call the cops, I can't take anymore

I've got the perfect cell plan with nights and weekends free
All the ringtones that I need, no one ever calls me

I should paint myself green, walk around
In a red G string 'cause I just don't fit in
Turn my hat sideways, put a band aid
On my face, you know that I
Wish I could start a trend

Checkin' out and in of the Paris Hilton, Joe Millionaire, he's a has been
Flippin' through a hundred million channels but I still watch Road Rules
Lose the pounds, flip, you gotta buy now, flip
Here's the number to save your soul, flip
Breaking news, another Michael Jackson scandal
Michael Jackson, controversy

I've got the perfect cell plan with nights and weekends free
More on-peak than I need, no one ever calls me

I'll wear low rider jeans, put a barbell
Through my ding-a-ling 'cause I just don't fit in
Turn my hat sideways, put a band aid
On my pretty face 'cause I wish, I know, I could
I would start a trend

Na na na
Na na na
Na na na

Then there's my girlfriend, she's such a cutie, she'd be a beauty
If she could get an extreme make-over on that booty
I could bend her over and she lets me spank it

Take off my jeans, the zipper pinched
My ding-a-ling and I don't really fit in
Throw my hat away, take that stupid
Band aid off my face and I, I wish there were
One more way to tan your skin
A reality show where no one wins
If I would be myself, then I could start a trend

Na na na, then I could start a trend
Na na na, if I'd just be myself
Na na na, be myself
Na na na, if I'd just be myself