When the idle poor
Become the idle rich
You'll never know
Just who is who
Or who is which

Won't it be rich
When everyone's poor relative
Becomes a Rockefellertive
And palms no longer itch
What a switch

When we all have ermine
And plastic teeth
How would we do determine
Who's who underneath?

And when all your neighbors
Are upper class
You won't know your Jones'
From your Astor's

Let's toast the day
The day we drink that drinkie up
But with a little pinkie up
The day on which
The idle poor
Become the idle rich

When a rich man doesn't want to work
He's a bon vivant, yes, he's a bon vivant
But when a poor man doesn't want to work
He's a loafer, he's a lounger
He's a lazy good for nothing, he's a jerk

When a rich man loses on a horse
Isn't he the sport, oh, isn't he the sport
When a poor man loses on a horse
He's a gambler, he's a spender
He's a low life, he's a reason for divorce

When a rich man chases after dames
He's a man about town, oh yes, a man about town
But when a poor man chases after dames
He's a bounder, he's a rounder
He's a rotter and a lot of dirty names

When the idle poor
Become the idle rich
You'll never know
Just who is who
Or who is which

No one will see
The Irish or the Slav in you
For when you're on Park Avenue
Cornelius and Mike
Look alike

When poor Tweedle Dum
Is rich Tweedle Dee
This discrimination will no longer be
When we're in the dough and off of the nut
You won't know your banker
From your butler

Let's make the switch
With just a few annuities
We'll hide those incongruities
In clothes from Abercrombie Fitch

When the idle poor
Become the idle rich
When the idle poor
Become the idle rich