Milk your goat, take a sip from your beverage
Wet your throat, find a nice bird and tell her
Get your coat and if she says to you
No, you don't, slip summink in her drink

I watch her chattin' to that fella and I'm thinking, they're never lovers
She's a little minx, he looks like one of the Neville Brothers
He's lookin' smug so he's startin' to bug me
This dude is ***kin' ugly, it's not 'cause I'm jealous

Of other fellas when they're getting into gashes they shouldn't be
Intoxicated women, who when sober, they wouldn't be
Getting anywhere, but by exhibiting magic tricks
The girl don't even notice when he's startin' to grab her ***s

Twenty minutes prior to the start of this monologue
This dude was at the bar all by himself lookin' proper odd
And when the pretty girl turned her back for a second or two
Did what all predators do, took his opportunity

He slipped something in her beverage
He knew he never had a chance so to give him more leverage
Cheated now, you got a poor little innocent
Off her ***kin' face and she's thinking she loves him

Looking at him longingly, this ain't where she wanna be
I feel like I'm the only one who noticed this anomaly
Morally inclined to interject, intercept the dudes plan
Just before its gets sickening

Heartbeat quickening, I dunno what he put in her gl***
But as they p*** me he's grabbin' her arse cheeks
If it gets nasty, I'll stop the shenanigans
A spanner in his plan look he's over-milked it

Milk your goat, take a sip from your beverage
Wet your throat, find a nice bird and tell her
Get your coat and if she says to you
No, you don't, slip summink in her drink

Milk your goat, take a sip from your beverage
Wet your throat, find a nice bird and tell her
Get your coat and if she says to you
No, you don't, slip summink in her drink

She's still holdin' the same drink, she gives him a lame wink
Whatever he gave her, it wont let her brain think
Straightly, now she's grinning, sat in his lap, his mates
Take turns givin' him a pat on the back

He's got her in his grasp, he can do what he wanna do
Take her back to his place, you know what he gonna do
I ain't a fan of it, he don't deserve her
She's far too pretty, man, how did he manage it

Just as I get closer, I look at her finger
It all becomes clear why she's letting him linger
He was stood with a sly little look on his boatrace
And judging by his threads, he clearly has no taste

Except in buying jewelery, he's so uninhibited
He's really made a fool of me 'cause now I see what he did
This flash rich ******* is far from plastered
He's worked a little plan that he's totally mastered

Sees his target, checks she's on the market
And slips a diamond ring into her gl*** as she guards it
I guess that's pretty cheesy but some men are sleazy
And if you chose wisely some women are easy

When she spots the present, say, it's yours to keep
And for at least one night she's yours to keep
Just flash a precious stone it's as simple as that
So there you have it' lads, Rohypnol's old hat

Milk your goat, take a sip from your beverage
Wet your throat, find a nice bird and tell her
Get your coat and if she says to you
No, you don't, slip summink in her drink

Milk your goat, take a sip from your beverage
Wet your throat, find a nice bird and tell her
Get your coat and if she says to you
No, you don't, slip summink in her drink

Look, I really gotta clear my throat
Fellas lookin' silly when they stand and gloat
You ain't getting nuttin' if you don't take note
See the opportunity and milk that goat

Look, I really gotta clear my throat
Fellas lookin' silly when they stand and gloat
You ain't getting nuttin' if you don't take note
See the opportunity and milk that goat

Milk your goat, take a sip from your beverage
Wet your throat, find a nice bird and tell her
Get your coat and if she says to you
No, you don't, slip summink in her drink

Milk your goat, take a sip from your beverage
Wet your throat, find a nice bird and tell her
Get your coat and if she says to you
No, you don't, slip summink in her drink