And now little lady, if you'll kindly step up to the parapet
I'll give you a lesson in marksmanship
You couldn't give me a lesson in long distance spittin'

Anything you can do, I can do better
I can do any thing better than you

No, you can't, yes, I can
No, you can't, yes, I can
No, you can't, yes, I can, yes I can

Anything you can be I can be greater
Sooner or later, I'm greater than you

No, you're not, yes I am
No, you're not, yes I am
No, you're not, yes I am, yes I am

I can shoot a partridge with a single cartridge
I can get a sparrow with a bow and arrow
I can live on bread and cheese
And only on that? Yes, so can a rat

Any note you can reach, I can go higher
I can sing anything higher than you

No, you can't, yes, I can
No, you can't, yes, I can
No, you can't, yes, I can
No, you can't, yes, I can
No, you can't, yes, I can

Anything you can buy, I can buy cheaper
I can buy anything cheaper than you

Fifty cents, forty cents
Thirty cents, twenty cents
No, you can't, yes, I can, yes I can

Anything you can say I can say softer
I can say anything softer than you

No, you can't, yes, I can
No, you can't, yes, I can
No, you can't, yes, I can, yes, I can

I can drink my liquor faster than a flicker
I can do it quicker and get even sicker
I can open any safe
Without bein' caught? Sure
That's what I thought, you crook

Any note you can hold I can hold longer
I can hold any note longer than you

No, you can't, yes, I can
No, you can't, yes, I can
No, you can't, yes, I can
No, you can't, yes, I can
Yes, you can

Anything you can wear I can wear better
In what you wear I'd look better than you

In my coat? In your vest
In my shoes? In your hat
No, you can't, yes, I can, yes, I can

Anything you say I can say faster
I can say anything faster than you

No, you can't, yes, I can
No, you can't, yes, I can
No, you can't, yes, I can
No, you can't, yes, I can
No, you can't, yes, I can
No, you can't, yes, I can
No, you can't, yes, I can
No, you can't, yes, I can

I can jump a hurdle, I can wear a girdle
I can knit a sweater, I can fill it better
I can do most anything, Can you bake a pie? No
Neither can I

Anything you can sing I can sing sweeter
I can sing anything sweeter than you

No, you can't, yes, I can
No, you can't, oh yes, I can
No, you can't, yes, I can
No, you can't, yes, I can
No, you can't, can't, can't
Yes, I can, can, can
Yes, I can
No, you can't