Simmer down ladies and gentlemen, simmer down
You're acting rather irresponsibly right now
Damn you all

Hold your horses, steady now
'Cause we're floating precariously
And therefore, furthermore
Frivolously on tectonic plates

And everything we stand on
And everything we stand for
Is rather unstable right now

So I think I'll kill some time
And have you done medium rare
But I think I'll tease my palette with some crudités
Just to prepare

You see we've had a joker in the pack now
For quite some time
So I reckon it's just about time
We roast this swine

This is a crock of ****, I refuse to be fed
So knuckle down and use your head
Can it sunshine, bottle it up you ponce
Then knock me up a dish with some vol-au-vents

Now I think we should take a leaf from the Romans' book
Burn it up burn it up
Now I think we should take a leaf from the Romans' book
Burn it up burn it up

Let's throw it up and start again
Let's throw it up and start again
Shoo

Nicely does it now
Steady, hold, hold
Target locked
Cop a load of this one, oh yeah

Oh, that was great, my compliments to the chef
I'm very satisfied
Do you know what I'll be sure to dine here again?
Fine cuisine, stuffed cheeks were very agreeable
All in all a splendid spread