Oh, yeah, oh, you son of a *****es
It gets so ***kin' crabby in this booth, man
It's like 90 degrees in here
Smells like cigarettes in a toilet

I'm gonna build
A Stepfather Factory
The latest in technology
Stepfather Factory

Jobs for the community
A Stepfather Factory
The age of familial industry
A Stepfather Factory

Building tomorrow's fathers today
A Stepfather Factory
The latest in technology
Stepfather Factory

Jobs for the community
A Stepfather Factory
The age of familial industry
Building tomorrow's fathers today

Spilling the leftovers of creational clique
We grew with the concept now we're ready to go public
Today's a big day for the company
A big step for the little-steppers
Who slept for years uncomfortably

Little man, little lady, cute little baby
Reach your hand out to the future of automated robotics
On display here for the first time in under a year, here
At the World's fair but is it really?

Ladies and Gentlemen, I propose that the market
Is sinking under the weight of useless contraptions
Added to the shopping carts of all hard working families
Electric doodads and wizard hats exist
To keep the munch kins entertained

But get replaced by newer versions
Such as breakdown systematically
Mothers, how many times have you debated
Sub-euthanasia tablets for breakfast snacks?

When restlessness attacks seemingly at random?
With an emptiness inside that's hard to identify, maybe
Pursuing obvious like pill popping, the c***anova edict
Chances are you've been abandoned

Well, I'm no scientist, that's not what I went to school for
And I'm not a doctor, so I don't know much about medicine
But I'm willing to bet that you, yes you little
What's your name sweetheart? Da, da yeah, whatever

Get a funny feeling in your tummy when your mommy cries
Something between woozy and confusion
And you spend your thoughts on how the sadness in your mommy
Can be rooted out, burned, scorched, turned out, forgotten

Different concepts than the candy and little baby dolls or
Whatever it is that normal kids get to think about
Well, I can honestly say that this invention is
Let me start by saying we've grafted only the finest stuff

Inserted the most high tech, state of the art
With brain charted for authentic
Truly human emotion and trained to be domestic
Made from the most easily available materials
And, uh, loosely inspected

Guaranteed to revolutionize
Perfectly realistic and even somewhat
Ins***utionally respected robotic relative

That's why I'm gonna build
A Stepfather Factory
The latest in technology
A Stepfather Factory

Jobs for the community
A Stepfather Factory
The age of familial industry
A Stepfather Factory

Building tomorrow's fathers today
A Stepfather Factory
The latest in technology
A Stepfather Factory

Jobs for the community
Stepfather Factory
The age of familial industry
I'm not only the president, I'm a client

So you purchased a paternal unit, cl*** A type 1
A new addition to your living room space, watch it go
Have your warranty for at least 90 days, so have fun
If in that time frame there's a problem, please let us know

Before you start there's a few details that you must learn
Technical specs about your unit to make things run smooth
In an effort to find an energy source our company's learned
The cheapest way to keep his battery running is with booze

Plug it in, give it a name, man of the house, help sustain
Wear the pants, you can relax, water the pad
Nucular fam, ordered a nucleus
Brings us to the safety chapter

Section 87 in your handbook
Subsection 16 en***led troubleshooting
Fuel sources are at a slight risk of mixing
With the crispy plutonium center

Of your automated new spouse and then driven
Possibly leading to the unpredicted stimulation
Of its artificial emotion circuits
And in a few unsubstantiated clinical trials this condition

Has led to simulated feelings of resentment and worthlessness
Manifested in the highly unlikely but still possible act
Of physical aggression towards you
And your loved ones fleshy surfaces

Remember, no cash returns
Only credits towards future purchases
Why are you hurting me? I love you
Why are you hurting me? I love you
Why are you hurting me? I love you