Coldwater, coldwater canyon
He said he wanted to know her
He had this place in the canyon
He said he wanted to show her

Coldwater, coldwater canyon
He said in a dulcet tone
Let's go to my place in the canyon
Where we can be alone

Well, he had a bed
That was covered with tiger skin
It was a non-ecological scene
And she felt so scared

'Cause its teeth were bared
And its smile was righteously mean
He had a water mattress
And a vibrating pillow

Designed for decreasing the tension
He had a stereo set in the headboard yet
And it was featuring the fifth dimension high
In a nook on the opposite wall

Disguised in a driftwood frame
Compatible color TV
Tuned to channel three
Showing 'Hunchback of Notre Dame'

And a huge aquarium with neon lights
She was quite taken back by the sharks
And a myna bird, she distinctly hearts
Making absolutely rude remarks

Coldwater, coldwater canyon
He said he wanted to know her
He had this place in the canyon
He said he wanted to show her

Coldwater, coldwater canyon
He said in a dulcet tone
Let's go to my place in the canyon
Where we can be alone

Well, ain't it great, he said to be all alone?
Oh, it's a young girl graduate's wish
But then the room went blank
When she looked at the tank

And saw a fish, eat another fish
And the hunchback rang
Those notre dame bells
And the bird yelled something risque

About balloon ascension
While the fifth dimension
Rendered up up up up up
Up, up and away

He had his headphones on
And he was gettin' it off
He had an Amy popper in his nose
So he never did see her leave the room

He never did hear the screen door close
And she ran, ran wild like a paranoid child
And nothing was aware of her flight

Except the eye of the sleeping sky
And the ear of the infinite
Still and silent night

Coldwater, coldwater canyon
Poor baby, she should have known
Coldwater, coldwater canyon
You got not grace if you go no place
To be alone