One, two, three, four

Fortune has me well in hand
Armies wait at my command
My gold lies in a foreign land
Buried deep beneath the sand

The angels guide my every tread
My enemies are sick or dead
But all the victories I've led
Haven't brought you to my bed

You see, everybody loves me, baby
What's the matter with you?
Won'tcha tell me what did I do
To offend you?

Now the purest race I've bred for thee
To live in my democracy
And the highest human pedigree
Awaits the first born boy baby

And my face on every coin engraved
The anarchists are all enslaved
My own flag is forever waved
By the grateful people I have saved

You see, everybody loves me, baby
What's the matter with you?
Won'tcha tell me what did I do
To offend you?

Now, no land is beyond my claim
When land is seized in the people's name
By evil men who rob and maim
If war is hell, I'm not to blame

Why, you can't blame me I'm heaven's child
I'm the second son of Mary mild
And I'm twice removed from Oscar Wilde
But he didn't mind, why, he just smiled

Yes, and the ocean parts when I walk through
And the clouds dissolve and the sky turns blue
I'm held in very great value
By everyone I meet but you

'Cause I've used my talents as I could
I've done some bad, I've done some good
I did a whole lot better than they thought I would so
C'mon and tr*** ** like you should

Because everybody loves me, baby
What's the matter with you?
Tell me what did I do
To offend you?

Everybody loves me, baby
What's the matter with you?
Tell me what did I do
To offend you?

Yeah, everybody loves me, baby
What's the matter with you?
Tell me what did I do
To offend you?