He said, 'Pardon me for bein' so bold
But you got a cigarette that's already rolled'
I gave him one, he lit it in his own good time
The smoke in that poolroom hung like a fog
When he talked it sounded like a growling dog
He said, 'Would you care for a dollar on the five or nine?'

Now this man was ugly and his eyes were mean
His clothes were dirty but his hands were clean
He held that stick like a mother holds the hand of her child
Well, I've been known to hustle a few
When the waitress said, 'Was he playing you?'
And I said, 'Yeah, bring me brandy water by'

Little Red Parker was way in the back taking quarters and hadling racks
And I told him, 'Red, come up here, glue 'em up tight
That brandy had me feeling warm, I tipped that waitress
And I checked her form
And I said, 'Honey, you like a winner', and she just smiled

I played like a man with a broken wrist, I won two and he won six
And I had him set up so I said, 'Let's play for five'
But this time the crowd had gathered round
To see this fish and just watch him drown
I told that waitress, 'More brandy water by'

Then he went out and got a custom cue
He said, 'It's no offense to you
But I don't play off the wall with nobody but friends'
He had a gold initials in a leather grip pearly and silver inlaid tip
He smiled at me and he said, 'Hell-a-way, we play for ten'

Well, I never seen a man that walk who made those balls and table talk
They're speaking English, he sure didn't need my help
He broke the ball and kept that string
For a hundred and eighty seven bucks and a ring
Till I gave up and said, 'Friend, you're gonna have to play by yourself'

Well, he racked it up and walked outside
And I strolled out just to watch him ride
And there was a blonde in their caddy built like the rest of that car
The boys in the poolroom they had 'em a laugh
And I hung it up and just let it p***
And had nothin' but my elbows to put on the bar

And the waitress smiled said, 'Water by?'
I took the charity and thanked her polite
And sittin' there sippin' and suddenly I had me a thought
Unlucky gambler and lucky in love
Guess you know what I was thinking of
When I said waitress, 'Honey, what time you get off?'