Seventy six trombones led the big parade
Hundred and ten cornets close at hand
Followed by rows and rows of the finest virtuosos
The cream of every famous band

Seventy six trombones caught the morning sun
Hundred and ten cornets right behind
More than a thousand reeds springing up like weeds
There were horns of every shape and kind

There were copper bottom timpani in horse platoons
Thundering, thundering all along the way
With double bell euphoniums and big bassoons
Each bassoon having its big fat say

There were fifty mounted canon in the battery
Thundering, thundering louder than before
And clarinets of every size and trumpeters who'd improvise
A full octave higher than the score

Seventy six trombones led the big parade
When the order to march rang out loud and clear
With a big bang bong on a Chinese gong
By a big bang bonger at the rear

Seventy six trombones hit the counterpoint
While a hundred and ten cornets played the air
Then I modestly took my place as the one and only bass
And I oompahed up and down the square