Ground floor Shoppers' Paradise
Habit dashery, needles, spoons and knives
Knuckle dusters, glass jaws and wooden hearts

Spend your money girls, on sprays and lipsticks
Tested on bunnies, girls, strays and misfits
Ozone friendly rape alarms, for those blinding dates
Another summer of hate

It's the top shop for the tired and rundown
Going up for the final comedown
First and second floors, third and fourth world wars

We've got a free pair of flares with every hip replacement
Just take the stairs to the bargain basement
Babies bottles full of a milk, of human kind

Its ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls
The big shop is open, it's a wonderful world

Top floor Shoppers' Paradise
We've got a drunk Father Christmas and the Anti-Christ
It's nothing of value, there's no V.A.T.

We're going a shopping [Incomprehensible]
We take Visa, Access, American Express
Patched up, hand me down, second to next best
Clothes for all ages, mothers and babies

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls
The big shop is open, it's a wonderful world

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls
The big shop is open, it's a wonderful world

Going down for all the things you missed
All the love, peace and happiness that don't exist
We've got encyclopaedia's, we've got pic 'n' fix
We got a government freezer full of benefits

A children's assortment, we're bigger than Hamley's
Cabbage patch orphans from Sylvanian families
Carpets, linoleum, holy petroleum
Kamikaze killers, little Hitlers and Napoleons

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls
The big shop is open and the world is wonderful
Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful