He's going in the Army
It's the best thing he could do
Now you are free to start to do
What you wanted to
Albert, Albert, Albert

I remember how you told me
I should trust you for a year
It would just be for a year
But it's eight years, Albert
Eight long years, Albert
Rosie, it takes time to go to business

It was only a sideline
That's what you said
You just needed some money
That's what you said
You were going to college and get ahead

Instead of being a music business bum
You were going to NYU
And become an English teacher
An English teacher, an English teacher
If only you'd been an English teacher

We'd have a little apartment in Queens
You'd get a summer vacation
And we would know what life means
A man who's got his Masters, is really someone
How proud I'd be if you had become one

It could have been such a wonderful life
I could have been Mrs. Peterson
Mrs. Albert Peterson
Mrs. Phi Beta Kappa Peterson
The English teacher's wife

Oh Rosie, I told you as soon as I get a few bucks ahead
You said that before, Albert
And along came, Conrad Birdie
And it was goodbye, Jeffery Josser
Hello, William Morris, goodbye NYU, hello, ALMAELOU

'Cause when you wrote, Canard's first hit
Agha-bagha-boo, then I knew that was it
You were through with English, forever
An English teacher is really someone
How proud I'd be if you had become one

It could have been such a wonderful life
I could have been Mrs. Peterson
Mrs. Albert Peterson
Mrs. Phi Beta Kappa Peterson
The English teacher's wife