You've got style, you've got cl***
You've got a boyfriend that wants to kick my ***
I made him angry, I made him annoyed
When I sent you dirty pictures from my Polaroid

Sorry about the tracks in your yard
For taking out the tree and for hitting your dog
I didn't see him coming, he was moving too fast
Here's a hundred dollars for the body cast

We could get married in Las Vegas
I know that my mom will take us
Put it all on black and let it ride

I saw you at the club downtown
We danced together till you turned around
And saw me in my Travolta pose
Then you kicked me in the nuts and ya broke my nose

We could get married in Las Vegas
I know that my mom will take us
Put it all on black and let it ride

'Cuz it's so hard being me
Victim of your no-loser policy
And I know that one day, you will see
That you're so damn lucky to be with a guy like me

What can I say, feeling lonely
So do you think we could hang around? You get to know me
Tell me things you'd like to show me, tie me up like I'm a pony
Ride me to the moon, you can spank me till I'm black and blue
And bleeding too and begging you to stop

We could get married in Las Vegas
I know that my mom will take us
Put it all on black and let it ride

'Cuz it's so hard being me
Victim of your no-loser policy
And I know that one day you will see
That you're so damn lucky to be
So damn lucky to be with a guy like me