Got a flat in Timbuktu
Waiting for triple A
But I saw that single headlight through the rain
I flagged the geezer in the car down
He was going the wrong way
We sped away and left rubber on all four lanes

He pulled a quick U-turn
And hit a pickup from Montana
While plowin' down a fire hydrant too
Windshield wipers slappin' time
As he committed several traffic crimes
This guy's like a one man wreckin' crew

Speedin's just a little bit of what he put me through
And swerving, he went off the road and hit a tree, yeah
Drivin' can't be easy, now, when you're 4 foot 2
You know drivin's not that difficult for you
But it's difficult to do if you're Mr. Magoo

When we drove right through a coal mine
We hit a school bus filled with nuns
We dragged along a string of traffic poles
Through all kinds of weather, through eighteen hit and runs
I still love that baby
Kept us on the run

One day he lost his specs
Oh Lord! He let 'em slip away
Still lookin' for them glasses, I hope he finds them
Well, I’d trade all of my tomorrows
For some Dramamine today
I just hope they know which body bag is mine

Speedin's just a little word for what he put me through
His drivin', you know it scared the pee right out of me, yeah
He's swervin' and he's weavin', Lord, and he doesn't have a clue
You know divan’s not that difficult for you
But it's difficult to do if you're Mr. Magoo

Oh, lucky for us I know a little used shortcut
Oh, look out, look out, look out
Look out, look out, look out, watch out now
Mr. Magoo