Covered wagon medicine show
Take you to the place where the healing flows, oh, oh
Weak in spirit, we got the juice
Won't save your soul it'll shine your shoes

Treated king to kangaroo
Santa Fe to Timbuktu, oh, oh
Don't be fooled by imitation
This is the stuff that cured a nation

We took the tube and the high plains too
Never stopped long just p***ing through
A drop of the laughter of the maids of France
Makes a hopeless cripple dance, oh

It was really vile weather
When we got tarred and feathered
You could hear the six guns sound
As they chased us out of town

In India we're all the rave
Discovered that it's great as aftershave
Dropped in the sea just off Japan
Swapped 20 bottles for an Aqua Walkman, oh

Immunity from ridicule
Improves your brains if you're a fool, oh, oh
And I read in the Middle East
They traded some for a hostage release

Now, if you're bald it'll give you hair
If you got straight trousers it'll give you flares
Feeling up you'll get depressed
Out of style here's a brand new dress, oh

It was really vile weather
When we got tarred and feathered
You could hear the six guns sound
As they chased us out of town

The stuff we sell is just the best
P***ing all consumer test, oh, oh
Days of Heaven nights of sin
Voodoo stick and sharks fin

When all around you seems like Hell
Just one sip will make you well, oh, oh
Multipurpose in a jar
If you ain't ill it'll fix your car

In days of yore for all bad feelings
Washing socks and stripping ceilings
Nowadays it's used medicinally
For all known human malady, oh

It was really vile weather
When we got tarred and feathered
You could hear the six guns sound
As they chased us out of town, oh