Princeton
Yeah
Listen, buddy, nobody's seen ya for two weeks
What's up with that?

I went to work for a temp agency, and they
Fired me for being too depressing on the phone
I maxed out my cards, I'm two months behind
In rent, I totally messed up my personal life
Oh, and Brian, I still haven't found my purpose

All right get off your *** and stop worrying
Everyone's getting together to mess around the city today
Have fun
When I say everyone, that includes you

There is life outside your apartment
I know it's hard to conceive
But there's life outside your apartment
And you're only gonna see it if you leave

There is cool **** to do
But it can't come to you
And who knows, dude
You might even score

There is life outside your apartment
But you got to open the door

No, thanks, I'm staying in
Don't tell me I gotta force you
Sorry
All right, everyone! He's resisting

There is life outside
There is life outside
There is life outside
There is life outside your apartment
There's a pigeon squashed on the street

Ew

There's a girl p***ing by
No I think it's a guy
And a homeless man
Who only wants to buy something to eat
Sorry, can't help you

We could go to the zoo
Pick up girls at NYU
We could sit in the park smoking pot
Or not

There is life outside your apartment

Well, I guess I'll give it a shot

There is life outside your apartment
I know
There is life outside your apartment

I'm gonna jump
Don't do it
Okay

There is cool **** to do
But it can't come to you
So come on
Get out of the way ***hole
***k you

There is life outside your apartment
Oh, you never know
What's around the bend
You could win the lotto
Or make a friend

Take her home to see your apartment

Do you wanna feel special?
I can see that you do
Well, I can make you feel
Special
If you let me feel you
She'll feel you

Where's your pad?
Not too far
We could call you a car
We'll be fine, thank you! See ya
Hope you don't get Gonorrhea

There is life outside your apartment
But now it's time to go home
There is life outside your apartment
It's time to go home

There is life outside your apartment
It's time to go home
There is life outside your apartment
It's time to go home
There is life outside your apartment

But now it’s time to go home
For ****

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