In the Texas town of San Antonio
Is a little church they call the Alamo
The story tellers say Ozzy Osborne stopped one day
All dressed up in women's lingerie

I don't know if the guy was drinking beer
Jack or beam it's not exactly clear
But when he whipped it out
The ghost of Travis gave a shout
Whose message all good Texans still can hear

Don't go there, don't go there
You really shouldn't go there
It's a source of Texas pride
Hell, John Wayne died inside

Don't go there, don't go there
You really shouldn't go there
You'll really piss us off if you go there

When Bowie and Young Crockett made their stand
Colonel Travis drew a line in to the sand
But it's simply not the same when you try and write your name
That bloody rocker must have mush for brains

Don't go there, don't go there
You really shouldn't go there
It's a simple Texas mission
Not a pot for you to piss in

Don't go there, don't go there
You really shouldn't go there
You'll really piss us off if you go there

Music never rilled us
The groupies or the jets
The show on television
Or the ratings you might get

The thing that drove us plum insane
Was when you drained that old main vain
Took your snake and let it go
No, we won't forget the Alamo

The eyes of Texas are upon you

Don't go there, don't go there
You really shouldn't go there
It's a symbol of our state
Not a place to urinate

Don't go there, don't go there
You really shouldn't go there
You'll really piss us off if you go there

Don't go there
You really shouldn't go there

How ya like it then
If we piss upon Big Ben?

Don't go there, don't go there
You really shouldn't go there
You'll really piss us off if you go there

Ah, you know Sharon I got me ****
Cloths off put in the roadie's rooms
So I couldn't get out
So I just took a walk around town, you know

And **** the next thing I **** know
I had to take me a piss, you know
And there was this old wall and I thinking
What the ****, I'll **** piss on the wall

Then all of a sudden
I'm in jail, you know **** police
Got me down and ah
Sharon, Sharon