There's a rumor going 'round Toyland
It's about Noddy the dirty little man
They say he done a dirty by lifting up his shirty
With Big Ears and the rest of his clan

There was eight old tarts
Stuck up Noddy's arsehole
And for a penny a piece
They lined his crease

Well, Noddy you should know
You can never get a blow in Toyland
Well, Noddy you should know
You can never get a blow in Toyland

Well, Big Ears was in front
But he couldn't get his cunt
Yeah, his ears were big, that's true
But his penis never grew

Well, Noddy you should know
You can never get a blow in Toyland
Well, Noddy you should know
You can never get a blow in Toyland

Well, Rupert Bear was there
With his mass of pubic hair
And Rupert Bear, he didn't care
He came in Noddy's hair

Noddy you should know
You can never get a blow in Toyland
Well, Noddy you should know
You can never get a blow in Toyland

Yeah, Prissy got mean
'Cause he said it was obscene
So he said he took it fast
And he charged it up his arsehole, arsehole, arsehole

Noddy you should know
You can never get a blow in Toyland
Well, Noddy you should know
You can never get a blow in Toyland

Well, Noddy's better off
But he's got a nasty cough
'Cause he's loaded with VD
And cracked a side of beans, yeah, didn't he?

Noddy you should know
You can never get a blow in Toyland
Noddy you should know
You can never get a blow in Toyland

Well, the moral of this song
To you dirty little boys
Charge 10p or more
Be a high-class whore

Noddy you should know
You can never get a blow in Toyland
Noddy you should know
You can never get a blow in Toyland

Noddy, you sold your arsehole
At the Elephant and Castle
Noddy
I don't give a chocks about you anyway

Noddy you should know
You can never get a blow in Toyland
Noddy you should know
You can never get a blow in Toyland

Noddy, you dirty little cunt