Wait a minute, man. Hey, check this out, tell it. It was this blind man, right?
Man, check this out- it was this blind man, right?
He was feelin' his way down the street with this stick, right?
Hey. He walked past this fish market, you know what I'm sayin'?
He stopped, he took a deep breath, he said
Woooooo, good morning, ladies
You like that ****, man? Hey, man, I got a gang of that ****, man
I tell you what- my man on the guitar, fool on the drums
Everybody just crowd around the mic, I'll tell you all these mutha-***kin' jokes
But first, I'ma start it off like this. Hey, help me sing it, homeboy

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong
So roll, roll, roll my joint. Pick out the seeds and stems
Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palmdale, skatin' on Dayton rims
So roll, roll the '83 Cadillac Coup de Ville
If my tapes and my cds just don't sell, I bet my caddy will

Well it was just sundown in a small white town. They call it Eastside Palmdale
When the Afroman walked through the white land, houses went up for sale
Well, I was standin' on the corner sellin' rap cd's when I met a little girl named Jan
I let her ride in my Caddy cause I didn't know her daddy was the leader of the Klu Klux Klan
We ***ked on the bed, ***ked on the flo', ***ked so long, I grew a ***kin' afro
Then I ***ked to the left, ***ked to the right. She sucked my **** 'til the **** turned white
I thought to myself, Sheba, Sheba! Got my *** lookin' like a zebra
I pulled on my clothes and I was on my way, until her daddy pulled up in a Chevrolet
I ran. I jumped out the back window, but her daddy, he was waitin' with a 2 x 4
Oh, he b*** ** to the left, he b*** ** to the right. The mutha-***ker whooped my *** all night
But I ain't mad at her prejudiced dad, that's the best damn ***** I ever had
I got a bag of weed and a bottle of wine. I'm a ***k that ***** just one more time

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong
So roll, roll, roll my joint. Pick out the seeds and stems
Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palmdale, skatin' on Dayton rims
So roll, roll the '83 Cadillac Coup de Ville
If my tapes and my cds just don't sell, I bet my caddy will

I met this lady in Hollywood. She had green hair, but damn she looked good
I took her to my house, cause she was fine, but she whipped out a **** that was bigger than mine
I met this lady from Japan, never made love with an African
I ***ked her once, I ***ked her twice. I ate that ***** like shrimp fried rice
Don't be amazed at the stories I tell ya. I met a woman in the heart of Australia
Had a big butt and big ***ties, too, so I hopped in her *** like a kangaroo
See, I met this lady from Hawaii. Stuck it in her ***, and she said, Aiiiiieeee
Lips was breakfast, ***** was lunch, then her ***ties busted open with Hawaiian Punch
Met Colonel Sander's wife in the state of Kentucky. She said, I'll fry some chicken if you just ***k
I came in her mouth. It was a crisis. I gave her my secret blend of herbs and ****es

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong
Hey, wait a minute man, check this out

I met Dolly Parton in Tennessee. Her ***ties were filled with Hennessey
That country music nearly drove me crazy, but I rode that *** and said, Yes, Miss Daisy
Met this lady in Oklahomaput that ***** in a coma
Met this lady in MichiganI can't wait 'til I ***k that ***** again
Met a real black girl in South Carolina***ked her 'til she turned into a white albino
***ked this ****** in Iowa. I ***ked her on credit, so I owe her
***ked this girl, down in Georgiacame in her mouth. Man, I thought I told ya
Met this beautiful ***y hoshe just ran cross the border of Mexico
Fine young thing, said her name's Maria. I wrapped her up just like a Hot Tortilla
I wanna get married, but I can't afford it. I know I'ma cry when she gets deported

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong

Have you ever went over to a girl's house to ***k, but the ***** just ain't no good? (SAY WHAT?)
And then you're getting' upset cause you can't get her wet, plus you in the wrong neighborhood?
So you try to play it off and eat the *****, but it takes her so long to come (SAY WHAT?)
Then a dude walks in. That's her big boyfriend, and he asks you where you from? (Where you from, man
So you wipe your mouth, and you try to explain (I don't bang.), you start talkin' real fast
But he's already mad, cause you ***kin' his wife, so he starts beatin' on your ***
Now your clothes all muddy, your nose all bloody, your **** was hard but now it's soft. (WHUT?)
You thought you had a girl to rock your world, now you still gotta go **** ***

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed