Get up early in the morning, going to the store
Post, Kellogs, General Mills, it's the cereal war
***kin' store never has the monsters and they never get more
Post, Kellogs, General Mills, it's the cereal war

I hope ***ual chocolate is in stock
It's got a ****** in the box
I'll try some cocoa puffs today
What the ***k is Sonny anyway?

Some say Dino's are the best
They've got more marshmallows than the rest
There's not a lot of cocoa in cocoa crispies
And always stay away from wheaties

Now it's dinner time and I am going back to the store
I had some Erkles, liked 'em a lot, it's the cereal war
I wish I were Calvin or Hobbes and then I could try sugar bombs
The soggies will never get CapnCrunch

I guess I'll have Crunch Berries for lunch
Breakfast cereals need to be sweet, that's the only kind I'll eat
Give me sugar not nuts and twigs
Do I look like a ***kin' squirrel to you?