Well, I had myself a girlfriend for all most two whole years
We had ourselves no secrets, we had no fears
There was nothing we wouldn't do when we were in the sack
She'd even pop the zit on my back

Well, one night I was out a-cheatin' after I drank a few
She caught me red-handed and said, 'We're through'
Now she got a new boyfriend, it nearly gave me a heart attack
'Cause who's gonna pop this zit on my back?

Well, I got a pimple and I don't know why
It keeps growing in the same place
I can't reach it with my left or right hand
I wish it was on my face

It's four days old and it hurts so bad
But it's ready for a squeeze
Won't somebody pop it for me please?
I'll give you ten dollars

If you're a girl in this lonely world
And your looking for a guy
I'll never cheat again I promise
That's no lie

There's only one thing I'll ask of you
Could we name our first child Zach?
Oh, one more thing please pop this zit on my back
I'm dying here

A-pimp-a-lay-hee
A-pop-a-doodily-doo
Squirt-heedily-hoo

Well, I'm sittin' alone by the phone and no one seems to call
I try to scrape my zit off on the kitchen wall
Well, that don't work so I look around and find a big, shiny thumb-tack
Put it on the floor, lay down, pop the zit on my back, yeah
Rock steady man