I did not ask for a lot this year
Every single day
Lookin' for an answer to the words you say

Never got to meet the President
Never got to shake his squirly hand
Oh, don't you know the President is out for tea with Tony Blair?
He won't be back for hours maybe, homeboy

I'd be so happy if I got to meet George Bush
He's like an angel when Rebecca hears me calling
I would dance on NBC and say George Bush shook hands with me
Then I'd go and choke on a ****

And Guinevere would find me leaving home
And Johnny Depp would call me on the phone
And Johnny Depp would call me on the phone, I know
I'd be the greatest singer on the radio

Leaning on the raging river flats
Sliding off a single blade of gr***
Oh, don't you know the A.D.A. is brushing teeth with Johnny J
They won't be smashing flowers, meet no more

I'd be so happy if I bid it all on you
And never answer when Rebecca ask me questions
I'd lay down to some degree
And say John Stern locked lips with me

And then I'd go and choke
For then I'd go and choke
For then I'd go and choke on a ****