Well, it's cold down here in the water
It's cold down here in the sea
Who'd be a channel swimmer?
Only a fool like me

I've greased my body and I'm heading over the ocean
These two arms are the only locomotion I need
See me swim and see me float
I don't need no motorboat or a yacht to get me there

I'll do the breaststroke and the backstroke
I'll do anything, I'll be swimming when you're all asleep
I'll be swimming when you're all awake
I'll do the sidestroke the other sidestroke, I'll do the butterfly
But I ain't gonna crawl on back to you, no way

I see your face in every breaker
I see your smile across the reef
I came across the sea to take you
Don't make me out to be a thief

You'll be dreaming when you're all asleep
But I'll be drowning when you're all awake
I did the breaststroke, I did my best stroke
I did everything but I ain't good enough

'Cause it's cold down here in the water
It's cold down here in the sea, who'd be a channel swimmer?
Only a fool like me, who'd be a channel swimmer?
Only a fool like me would forget he can't swim